Poem by Roald Dahl from James and the Giant Peach
 

(C) I've eaten many strange and scrumptious (F) dishes (G7) in my (C) time,
Like jellied gnats and dandyprats and (F) earwigs (G7) cooked in (C) slime,
And (G7) mice with rice they're (C) really nice, when (F) roasted in their (C) prime.
(G7) (But (C) don't forget to sprinkle them with (F) just a pinch of (C) grime.)
 
I've eaten fresh mud burgers by the greatest cooks there are,
And scrambled dregs and stink bug eggs and hornets stewed in tar,
And pails of snails and lizard’s tails and beetles by the jar.
(A beetle is improved by just a splash of vinegar.)
 
I often eat boiled slobbages. They’re grand when served beside
Minced doodle bugs and curried slugs, and have you ever tried
Mosquitoes toes and wampfish roes, most delicately fried?
(The only trouble is they disagree with my insides.)
 
I'm mad for crispy wasp stings on a piece of buttered toast
And pickled spines of porcupines and then a gorgeous roast
Of dragon’s flesh, well hung, not fresh. It costs a pound at most.
(And comes to you in barrels, if you order it by post.)
 
I crave the tasty tentacles of octopi pie for tea.
I like hot dogs, I love hot frogs and surely you’ll agree
A plate of soil with engine oil’s a super recipe.
(I hardly need to mention that it’s practically free.)
 
For dinner on my birthday shall I tell you what I chose?
Hot noodles made from poodles on a slice of garden hose
And a rather smelly jelly made from armadillo's toes.
(The jelly is delicious, but you have to hold your nose.)
 
Now comes, the centipede declared, the burden of my speech.
These foods are rare beyond compare, some are right out of reach,
But there's no doubt I'd go without a million plates of each,
For one small mite, one tiny bite, of this fantastic peach.  

On (D) top of spag (G) hetti, all covered in (D) cheese,
I lost my poor (A7) meatball when somebody (D) sneezed…(atchoo)
 
It (D) rolled off the (G) table and onto the (D) floor,
And then my poor (A7) meatball, rolled out of the (D) door.
 
It (D) rolled in the (G) garden and under a (D) bush,
and then my poor (A7) meatball was nothing but (D) mush.
 
The mush was as tasty, as tasty could be,
And then the next summer, it grew into a tree.
 
The tree was all covered, all covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs, and tomato sauce.
 
So if you eat spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball, whenever you sneeze.
 
 

A vowel exchange song

(C) I like to eat, eat, eat, eat. I like to eat apples and ban(G7)anas.
(G7) I like to eat, eat, eat, eat. I like to eat apples and ban(C)anas.

 A emphasised
I like to ate, ate, ate, ate. I like to ate ay-ples and baynaynays.
I like to ate, ate, ate, ate. I like to ate ay-ples and baynaynays.

E emphasised
I like to eat, eat, eat, eat. I like to eat ea-ples and beaneayneays.
I like to eat, eat, eat, eat. I like to eat ea-ples and beaneayneays.

I emphasised
I like to ite, ite, ite, ite. I like to ite i-ples and buynuynuys.
I like to ite, ite, ite, ite. I like to ite i-ples and buynuynuys.

O emphasised
I like to ote, ote, ote, ote. I like to ote o-ples and bononos.
I like to ote, ote, ote, ote. I like to ote o-ples and bononos.

U emphasised
I like to ute, ute, ute, ute. I like to ute u-ples and bununus.
I like to ute, ute, ute, ute. I like to ute u-ples and bununus.
​
Finish
Now we’re through, through, through, through.
Now we’re through with apples and bananas.
Now we’re through, through, through, through.
With a-e-i-o-u

Row your boat
Strummed (C)
Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is just a dream.
 
Frere Jacques
Strummed (D)
Frere Jacques, frere Jacques,
Dormez vous, dormez vous?
Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines,
Ding, dang, dong. Ding dang dong.


Same tune
Hairy jackets, hairy jackets,
Warm inside, warm inside,
But they're very itchy, but they're very itchy.
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Back to top, repeat as wanted
 
You can’t put your muck in our dustbin
(D) You can't put your muck in our dustbin, (A7) our dustbin, (D) our dustbin.
You can't put your muck in our dustbin, (A7) our dustbins (D) full.
(A7) One bottle away, (D) two bottle away, (A7) three bottle away, (D) four bottle away,
(A7) Five bottle away, (D) six bottle away, (A7) seven bottle away, (D) eight.
 
​

Point to each body part as mentioned
 
(G) Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
Head, shoulders, knees and (D) toes, knees and toes.
And (G) eyes
and ears
and (D) mouth
and nose
Head, shoulders, knees and (G) toes, knees and toes.
 
Successive verses, “hum” each word that is “removed”,
So the next verse would be…
“Mmh”, shoulders knees and toes;
“Mmh”, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
and eyes
and ears
and mouth
and nose
“Mmh”, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
 
Next verse; “Mmh” Mmh” knees and toes…
 
And so on through the song, omitting to say a body part each time, but pointing to it.

I (D) have a favourite brother and his Christian name is (A7) Paul.
He’s lately joined a football club, cause he's (D) mad (A7) about foot(D)ball.
He’s two black eyes already and teeth lost from his (A7 or G) gob.
Since (D) Paul became a (G) member of that (D) terrible (A7) football (D) club.
​
Chorus
(D) ’Cause he's football crazy, he’s football (A7) mad.
The football, it is taken away the (D) little bit of (A7) sense he (D) had
And it would take a dozen servants to wash his clothes and (A7 or G) scrub,
Since (D) Paul became a (G) member of that (D) terrible (A7) football (D) club.


In the middle of the field one afternoon, the captain said, “Now Paul,
Would you kindly take this place kick, ‘cause you're mad about football?”
He took forty paces backwards, shot off from the mark.
The ball went sailing over the bar and landed in New York.
Chorus


His wife, she says she'll leave him if Paulie doesn't keep
Away from football kicking at night-time in his sleep.
He calls out “Pass McGinty” and other things so droll.
Last night he kicked her out of bed and swore it was a goal
Chorus
​

Simple strum; two chords, slow and steady.

There's a (D) hole in my (G) bucket, dear Liza dear Liza. There's a (D) hole in my bucket, dear Lisa (A7) a (D) hole.

Well mend it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. Well mend it, dear Henry, dear Henry mend it.

With what shall I mend it dear Lisa, dear Lisa? With what shall I mend it, dear Lisa, with what?

With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry with a straw.

But the straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza. But the straw is too long, dear Lisa, too long.

Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. Then cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza? With what shall I cut it, dear Lisa, with what?

With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, with an axe.

But the axe is too blunt, dear Liza, dear Liza. But the axe is too blunt, dear Lisa, too blunt.

Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it.

With what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza? With what shall I sharpen in it, dear Lisa, with what?

With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a stone.

But the stone is too dry, dear Lisa, dear Lisa. But the stone is too dry, dear Lisa, too dry.

Then wet it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. Then wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what shall I wet it, dear Lisa, dear Lisa? With what shall I wet it, dear Lisa, with what?

With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. With water, dear Henry, dear Henry. with water.

With what shall I fetch it, dear Lisa, dear Lisa? With what shall I fetch it, dear Lisa, with what?

With a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. With a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a bucket.

But there's a hole in my bucket, dear Lisa, dear Lisa. There's a hole in my bucket, dear Lisa, a hole. 
 
A note in my songbook shows that somewhere near 1988, this was adapted to a Viking theme, with Freya and Olaf replacing Lisa and Henry and longship for bucket; the last verse has to be bucket or it doesn’t then make sense.


​

To the tune of “Drunken sailor”

​
(Am) What shall we do with a naughty schoolboy?
(G) What shall we do with a naughty schoolboy?
(Am) What shall we do with a naughty schoolboy, (Em) on a Monday (Am) morning?
Throw him in the bin with the mouldy rubbish.
Throw him in the bin with the mouldy rubbish.
Throw him in the bin with the mouldy rubbish, on a Monday morning
Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting! Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting! Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting on a Monday morning!


What shall we do with a naughty schoolgirl? What shall we do with a naughty schoolgirl?
What shall we do with a naughty schoolgirl, on a Monday morning?
hanging from the ceiling and tickle her tootsies
hanging from the ceiling and tickle her tootsies
hanging from the ceiling and tickle her tootsies On Monday morning
Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting! Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting! Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting on a Monday morning


What shall we do with the angry teacher?
What shall we do with the angry teacher?
What shall we do with the angry teacher,on a Monday morning
Lock her in the cupboard with a hungry tiger. Lock her in the cupboard with a hungry tiger.
Lock her in the cupboard with a hungry tiger, on a Monday morning.
Oh, dear, the smell’s disgusting!
Open up the door, the smell’s disgusting!
Here comes the tiger and the tiger’s smiling, on a Monday morning.


​

(Am) What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
(Em) What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
(Am) What shall we do with the drunken sailor, (Em) early in the (Am) morning?
Chorus
Hooray and up she rises. Hooray and up she rises. Hooray and up she rises.
Early in the morning.


2) Put him in the longboat, ‘til he’s sober. (*3) Chorus
3) Pull out the plug and wet him all over. (*3) Chorus
4)Put him in the bilge and make him drink it. (*3) Chorus
5)Put him in a leaky boat and make him bail her. (*3) Chorus
6) Shave his belly with a rusty razor. (*3) Chorus
7) Make up your own to fit?
8) That’s what we do with the drunken sailor. (*3) Chorus
​

 
There (D) was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
(A7) He grew whiskers on his chinigin.
The (D) wind came out and blew them in inigin,
(A7) Poor old Michael (D) Finnegan, beginigin.
 
There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He kicked up an awful dinigin.
Because they said he must not singigin,
Poor old Michael Finnegan, beginigin.
 
There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He went fishing with a pinigin.
Caught a fish, but dropped it inigin,
Poor old Michael Finnegan, beginigin
 
There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
Climbed a tree and barked his shinigin.
Took off several yards of skinigin,
Poor old Michael Finnegan beginigin.
 
There was an old man called Michael Finnegan,
He grew fat and then grew thinigin.
Then he died and had to beginigin.
Poor old Michael Finnegan. Stop!

​(C) Today’s Monday. Today’s Monday.
Monday is washing day.
Chorus…
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.

Today’s Tuesday. Today’s Tuesday. Tuesday’s sou-oup. Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.

Today’s Wednesday. Today’s Wednesday. Wednesday is bubble and squeak. Tuesday’s sou-oup. Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.

Today’s Thursday. Today’s Thursday. Thursday is payday. Wednesday is bubble and squeak. Tuesday’s sou-oup. Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.

Today’s Friday. Today’s Friday. Friday is fish. Thursday is payday. Wednesday is bubble and squeak. Tuesday’s sou-oup. Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.

Today’s Saturday. Today’s Saturday. Saturday is roast -er beef. Friday is fish. Thursday is payday. Wednesday is bubble and squeak. Tuesday’s sou-oup. Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.
​
Today’s Sunday. Today’s Sunday. Sunday is chu-urch-----(quiet)
(loud and faster) Saturday is roast -er beef. Friday is fish. Thursday is payday. Wednesday is bubble and squeak. Tuesday’s sou-oup. Monday is washing day.
Is everybody happy? You bet your (G7) life we (C) are.

(G) Old MacDonald (C) had a (G) farm EI (D7) EI (G) O.
And on that farm he (C) had some chicks EI (D7) EI (G) O.
With a cheep cheep here and a cheep cheep there.
Here a cheep, there a cheep, everywhere a cheep cheep.
(G) Old MacDonald (C) had a farm EI (D7) EI (G) O
 
2) And on that farm he had some ducks…   with a quack quack here and quack quack there

3) And on that farm he had some turkeys… with a gobble gobble here…

4) And on that farm he had some pigs…  with an oink oink here…

5) And on that farm he had some cows…  with a moo moo here…

6) And on that farm he had a dog…   with a woof woof here…

7) And on that farm he had some sheep…   with a baa baa here…

8) And on that farm he had some mice… with a nibble nibble here…
​
9+) Make up your own…

(D) I know an old lady who swallowed a fly.
(A7) I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll (D) die.
 
(D) I know an old lady who swallowed a spider that (A7) wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside (D) her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. (A7) I don't know why she swallowed a fly perhaps she'll (A7) die.
 
I know an old lady who swallowed a bird. Well how absurd, to swallow bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly perhaps she'll die.
 
I know an old lady who swallowed a cat. Well fancy that, to swallow a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed a spider to catch the fly I don't know why she swallowed a fly perhaps she'll die.
 
I know an old lady who swallowed a dog. She went the whole hog and swallowed a dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat. She swallowed the cat to catch the bird. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly, perhaps she'll die.
 
I know an old lady who swallowed a cow. I don't know how she swallowed a cow.
She swallowed the cow to catch the dog. She swallowed the dog to catch the cat. She swallowed the cat to catch the bird. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider, that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly perhaps she'll die
 
I know an old lady who swallowed a horse. She's dead of course.

(G) She'll be coming round the mountain when she (D) comes.
(G) She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.
She'll be coming round the mountain, (C) coming round the (Am) mountain
(G) Coming round the (D) mountain when she (G) comes.


Chorus;
(G) Singing I yi yippee, yippee (D) I,
(G) Singing I yi yippee, yippee I,
Singing I yi yippee,(C) I yi (Am) yippee,
(G) I yi (D) yippi yippi (G) I.


2) She’ll be driving six white horses when she comes…
3) She’ll be bringing us some presents when she comes…
4) She’ll bring all the family with her when she comes…
5/6) She’ll be wearing silk pyjamas (frilly knickers) when she comes…
7) We’ll all go out to meet her when she comes…
8) Make up your own?
​

(C) When we’re playing (F) in the (C) park, thank you (G7) for my (C) friends. (clap, clap)
(C) When it’s cold and (F) wet and (C) dark, thank you (G7) for my (C) friends. (clap clap)
Chorus
(F) When we’re going (C) to the fair, (G7) when we all have (C) sweets to (G7) share,
(C) Even when they’re (G7) cross and they (C) pull my (F) hair,
Thank you (G7) for my (C) friends.


When I’m feeling very sad, thank you for my friends.
When I’m feeling cross and bad, thank you for my friends.
Chorus


When I have a birthday tea, thank you for my friends.
When I fall and cut my knee, thank you for my friends.
Chorus


When we play our special games, thank you for my friends.
When they scowl and call me names, thank you for my friends.
Chorus


​

(D) Put your finger in the air, in the (A7) air. Put your finger in the air, in the (D) air.
Put your (G) finger in the air and (D) twiddle it around your hair.
Put your (G) finger in the (A) air in the (D) air


Put your finger on your head, on your head. Put your finger on your head, on your head.
Put your finger on your head, tell me is it green or red? Put your finger on your head on your head.


Put your finger on your nose, on your nose. Put your finger on your nose, on your nose.
Put your finger on your nose. Can you feel the cold wind blows? Put your finger on your nose, on your nose.


Put your finger on your cheek, on your cheek. Put your finger on your cheek, on your cheek.
Put your finger on your cheek and leave it for a week. Put your finger on your cheek on your cheek.


Put your finger on your ear, on your ear. Put your finger on your ear, on your ear.
Put your finger on your ear and leave it for a year. Put your finger on your ear, on your ear.


Put your finger on your belly, on your belly. Put your finger on your belly on your belly.
Put your finger on your belly. Does it feel like strawberry jelly? Put your finger on your belly, on your belly.


Put your finger on your knees, on your knees. Put your finger on your knees on your knees.
Put your finger on your knees but be careful not to sneeze. (atchoo). Put your finger on your knees, on your knees.


Put your finger on your toes, on your toes. Put your finger on your toes on your toes.
Put your finger on your toes. It's a long way from your nose. Put your finger on your toes on your toes.


Put your finger on your finger, on your finger. Put your finger on your finger on your finger.
Put your finger on your finger and your finger on your finger. Put your finger on your finger on your finger.
​

Capo 3


(A) Old Joe Clarke, he had a house, fifty storeys (E) high,
And (A) every storey in that house was filled with (G) chicken (A) pie.


Chorus
(A) Fare you well, Old Joe Clarke. Farewell, Lucy (E) Brown.
(A) Fare you well Old Joe Clarke, for I am (G) leaving (A) town.


I went down to Old Joe's house to have a bite of supper.
I stubbed my toe on the leg of a chair and stuck my nose in the butter.
Chorus


Old Joe Clarke he had a wife. Her name was Cindy Lou.
Had two brown eyes at the back of her head. The other two were blue.
Chorus.


Old Joe Clarke, he had a mule. His name was Charlie Brown
And every tooth in that mule’s head was sixteen inches round.
Chorus
​

​(C) Mr. Fly climbed (G7) up a tree,
(G7) Climbed as high as (C) high can be.
(C) Lost his grip came (G7) crashing down,
(G7) Smashed to pieces (C) on the ground.


When the insects heard the sound,
Echoing for miles around,
They began to buzz and cry
“Quick! First aid for Mr. Fly”.


“Where's a bandage, where’s a splint?
Get some liniment and lint?
Someone give him aspirin.
Should we call the doctor in?”


Then a wise old flea spoke out,
“You don't know what you're about.
He's beyond the reach of aid,
Get a pick and get a spade.”


Then at last those insects knew,
What they really had to do.
Now his tombstone bears the scrawl,
“He who climbs too high must fall.”

​

A variation on the tune of "The Animals Went in Two by Two"; see below for those words

The (Em) ants went marching one by one,
(G) Hoorah, hoorah.
The (Em) ants went marching one by one,
(G) Hoorah, hurrah.
(Em) The ants went marching (Am) one by one,
(Em) The little one stopped to (Am) suck his thumb.
And they (Em) all (Am) went (Em) marching round and round and down the drain
And round the corner and back again.


Two by two… to do up his shoe
Three by three…’cos he bumped his knee
Four by four… to shut the door
Five by five… to visit a hive
Six by six… to eat a Twix
Seven by seven… to go to Devon
Eight by eight… to close a gate
Nine by nine… to sip some wine
Ten by ten… to start again

​The animals came in…
The (Em) animals came in two by two,
(G) Hoorah, hoorah.
The (Em) animals came in two by two,
(G) Hoorah, hurrah.
(Em) The animals came in (Am) two by two,
(Em) The elephant and the kangaroo.
And they (Em) all (Am) went (Em) into the ark, for to get out of the rain.


Three by three… the wasp, the ant and the bumblebee
Four by four… the elephant nearly got stuck in the door
Eight by eight… the monkey and fox they were nearly late
Nine by nine… the hippo ad stork, they were last in the line
Ten by ten… with Noah, his wife and a snake and a hen

​There's a (C) very funny insect that you (G7) do not often (C) spy,
And it (C) isn't quite a spider, and it (G7) isn't quite a (C) fly;
It is (F) something like a (C) beetle, and a (G7) little like a (C) bee,
But (C) nothing like a woolly grub that (G7) climbs upon a (C) tree.
Its (F) name is quite a hard one, but you'll (C) learn it soon, I hope.
So (G7) try:
   Tri-
      Tri-anti-wonti-
         (C) Trianti (G7) wontigongo (C) lope.
 
 
It lives on weeds and wattle-gum, and has a funny face;
Its appetite is hearty, and its manners a disgrace.
When first you come upon it, it will give you quite a scare,
But when you look for it again, you find it isn't there.
And unless you call it softly it will stay away and mope.
So try:
   Tri-
      Tri-anti-wonti-
         Triantiwontigongolope.
 
 
It trembles if you tickle it or tread upon its toes;
It is not an early riser, but it has a snubbish nose.
If you snear at it, or scold it, it will scuttle off in shame,
But it purrs and purrs quite proudly if you call it by its name,
And offer it some sandwiches of sealing-wax and soap.
So try:
   Tri-
      Tri-anti-wonti-
         Triantiwontigongolope .
 
 
But of course you haven't seen it; and I truthfully confess
That I haven't seen it either, and I don't know its address.
For there isn't such an insect, though there really might have been
If the trees and grass were purple, and the sky was bottle green.
It's just a little joke of mine, which you'll forgive, I hope.
Oh, try!
   Tri-
      Tri-anti-wonti-
         Triantiwontigongolope.

​

Teaching ideas

During the summer term, in classrooms across the country, mini-beasts will be a subject of learning. That was no different when I was an active classroom teacher, but my classes went in search of the Triantiwontigongolope. This came about after I discovered a poem, written by C.J. Dennis (1876 - 1938). With the help of a very talented musical colleague, we turned this into a song based on an Irish Jig, so it was at once catchy and engaging. It was able to serve a multitude of needs.
We did a range of searches around the grounds.

• Using upturned light coloured umbrellas underneath low bushes to shake and catch the falling insects.
• Putting sheets under bigger trees and shaking branches.
• We put out jam jars and tins from the kitchens as traps.
• We dug through the composting heap of leaves and grass clippings.
• We looked and looked regularly and just spotted things, in flight, as well as static.
• We got out pooters and magnifiers and classification guides.
• We drew and labelled and classified and described in detail.
• We drew and painted.
• We measured and created fair tests; eg how fast does a snail/mealworm move over different surfaces?
• We imagineered the Triantiwontigongolope, as pictures and personal writings and poetry, as well as making 3D models. One poem became the start point for a great deal of complementary learning.

In the end, we never found the Triantiwontigongolope, but the children learned a lot.